SMAK! SuperMacho AntiKristo

SMAK! is a hybrid homage to French Symbolist writer Alfred Jarry and Filipino National Hero José Rizal through a sensory overload of silent cinema, avant-rock music, spokenword poetry, kinetic sculpture, and dance party.

The revenge tale of an assassin who lost her children, SMAK! is set in 38th-century Mondo Europa and begins with the Massacre of Innocents, where SISA JARRY’s [Lilith Stangenberg] children, the half-alien ALF JARRY [Katch23] and the unibrowed FRIDA JARRY [Charlie Sage], are ritually sacrificed by the snake dildo bicycle-riding assassin of Crispy Pataphysical divination FAUSTROLLOL [Mick Morris Mehnert], the perverted chicken jester CAESAR HAZARD [Roxlee], and the urine-baptizing POPE MUSTARD [Bong Cabrera], to the grotesquely buffoonish tyrant King UBULBULUL [Daniel Zillmann], the lascivious and scheming Queen MAMAMAKBET [Bituin Escalante], and the Commodus-esque ROY-ROY [King John].

This sets off Sisa Jarry’s quest for revenge through time and space on her lobster bicycle, which takes her to the furthest reaches of Ubulbulul’s kingdom: from a desert animal farm, a volcano cathedral, to the Tomb of Rebirth — all experienced by the audience through a kinetic sculpture stage created by acclaimed Filipino installation artist Leeroy New.

Along the way, Sisa Jarry encounters characters including UNCLE JESUS EX MACHINA [Maximilian Brauer], the lord of the dead TIKBALANGAY [Bullet Dumas], the temptress MESCALINA [Yasmin Saleh], Roy-Roy’s vizier COCK-COCK [Sascha Schicht] and pineapple-headed bodyguard BOSSANAGA [Cem Aydin], the collective embodiment of all the sins committed by violent soldiers throughout history CORPORAL PUNISHMENT [Brezel Göring of Stereo Total], and the ringmaster HITLERIZAL ISPRAKENHAYT [Khavn], who all give life to a tale that intersects with subplots of murderous political intrigue and a fatal love pentagon, bringing to mind Shakespearean tragedies and the Egyptian Book of AmDuat.

SMAK!’s 100 acts are structured around 25 songs composed by Khavn and the silent film Nitroglycerine in The Pomegranate. The film, which dates back to the 1920s and is attributed to Narding Salome Exelsio, is purportedly a take on Rizal’s third unfinished novel, Makamisa, and stars an actress who bears an uncanny resemblance to Lilith Stangenberg. Sandwiched between the narrative acts are found text monologues recited by the cast. Aside from the works of Jarry and Rizal, these monologues come from a variety of other sources, including the speeches of Hitler and Putin, the Gnostic Scrolls, Sappho, Francisco Balagtas, the Comte de Lautréamont, the Marquis de Sade, Guy Debord, key figures of the Philippine revolution against Spain, and even Philippine folk songs and Mother Goose nursery rhymes.

SMAK! is the first international theatrical production of Khavn, who has directed hundreds of films, written several books of poetry and fiction, and composed numerous albums. The play traces its roots to December, 1896 — a month that saw the single scandalous performance of Jarry’s Ubu Roi at the Théâtre de l’Œuvre, as well as the public execution of Rizal on trumped-up charges connected to the Philippine Revolution that was spearheaded by the revolutionary secret society Kataastaasan, Kagalang-galangang Katipunan (KKK). There is a crispy patapysical effort to directly address constructs of shared national trauma, such as much of Germany’s 20^th century, or the Philippines’ colonial past and the Marcos dictatorship.

All seven SMAK! shows for April will be different, as will be the subsequent 93 shows that will be held from May onwards with an everchanging cast until there are a hundred SMAKs and we will all live happily ever after.

Listen to SMAK!’s soundtrack at khavn.bandcamp.com/album/smak or on Spotify

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Sisa Jarry is the most insane person in the planet. She loves riding, fixing, and destroying bicycles and runs a lobster bicycle workshop. The two loves of her life are her son Alf Jarry and daughter Frida Jarry.  Before retiring to focus on bicycles, she was the top assassin for King Ubulbulul, destroying entire planets and galaxies in his name.  During her days in service to Ubulbulul, her best buddies were Faustrollol, Caesar Hazard, and Pope Mustard. The Queen Mamamakbet is jealous of her. SMAK! is the story of her zealous revenge. Sisa is a grieving madwoman whose children went missing after being accused of theft in Rizal’s first novel, Noli me Tangere.

Ubulbulul is the world, the stage, world of the stage, the stage of the world. He is the godfather, mobking, he has eaten many planets and universes more than you can count. His insatiable hunger for femur bone marrow makes him produce the stinkiest, wettest farts. Extremely cuckold, cowardly, and dumb. Considers Roy-Roy his best friend. Ubu is the main character from Jarry’s series of plays and sounds like Ubo – cough. Bulbul – pubic hair. Ulul – fool. Bulul – rice granary fertility god. Is a fan of the Gnostic scrolls, the Comte de Lautréamont, and keeps a poster of Vladimir Putin hidden near his toilet’s flange.

Faustrollol is Ubulbulul’s top general. He is the sickest executioner this side of the askew. He uses his arcane knowledge and brilliant analytical mind for Pataphysical Divination. He is the father of Alf Jarry and Frida Jarry and is a DEAD beat dad. Travels through time and space on his snake-dildo bicycle. Reportedly keeps the pickled brains of Emilio Jacinto, a key figure in the Kataastaasan, Kagalanggalangang Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (K.K.K.), a non-racist secret society that spearheaded the Philippine Revolution against Spain in 1896. A trollololl play on Jarry’s Exploits and Opinions of Dr. Faustroll, Pataphysician, who travels in a skiff through time and space. This is parallel with the Sun God Ra’s boat ride during his descent and resurrection in the underworld while being chased by the serpent Apopis in the Egyptian Book of AmDuat.

Caesar Hazard is Ubulbulul’s perverted jester. A chicken-eating, fowl-fucking, chicken-monster from 100 BC. Identifies as a Chicken Fucker and prefers the pronouns glory and hole. His age has meant that he is a slow starter and needs regular electroshock and lobotomy to keep his penis hyperactive. Has 7107 strains of gonorrhea, including one from Gomorrah called Gommorrhea. Takes his name from Jarry’s Caesar Anti-Christ and Cesar Asar, a famed trickster character from a legendary comic series created by RoxLee and his twin brother during the 1980s. Went to orgies with the Marquis de Sade and gave the dirty Sanchez to an unknown Filipino folk singer.

Pope Mustard is the spiritual head of Ubulbulul’s kingdom. He has also mastered the history of Philippine dance from the 3rd to 38th centuries. Became the pope through the nunnery route. Believes that baptism by his piss is good for the pores and the best path to salvation. Is in consultation with Faustrollol for bottling and marketing his holy water. Comes from Jarry’s The Pope’s Mustard Maker, which is about the legend of Pope Joan. Once issued an encyclical on reconcecrating texts once considered heretical such as the Gospel of Judas and the satirical anti-clerical works of Plaridel, the pen name of Marcelo H. del Pilar, who was the last editor of La Solidaridad, a newspaper that served as the main mouthpiece for the Filipino Propaganda movement for Spanish assimilation that also had Rizal as a regular contributor.

Mamamakbet is Ubulbulul’s queen. The original Lady Macbeth. A Scottish vampire from the 11^th Century. She constantly sleepwalks with lots of blood, shit, and cum on her hands. Functions as Imelda to Ubu Marcos, without the shoes. She always whispers plots into Ubulbulul’s ear. Evil gossip monger who fucks everyone and everything. She uses her enormous vagina, mouth, and asshole to hypnotize.  Ubulbulul is her 12th husband. Takes her name from Lady Macbeth, and Makbetamaximus: Theater of Destruction – This is Not a Rap Opera by Khavn. Pakbet refers to a Filipino dish of bitter melon and fermented shrimp paste.

Uncle Jesus Ex Machina is deus ex machina. He provides divine intervention and divine intercession. Loves all the little children of the world in a post-pedophilic way and occasionally remembers to bring their souls with him. Moonlights as a Christ which means bet taker in Filipino cockfighting parlance. Is saving money to become Aunty Christ.

Hitlerizal Isprakenhayt is the ringmaster seer of time and space. He channeled his mastery of all the mystical martial arts to conjure the Untermensch Bible out of the eternal miasma of the cosmos. Rumored to have genetic ties to Jack the Ripper. While it has been said that José Rizal was Jack the Ripper during his European journeys, rumors also have it that Rizal actually fathered Adolf Hitler around the same time. Isprakenhayt refers to Isprakenhayt, a 1973 Poch Bautista martial arts comedy starring Ramon Zamora, dubbed the Bruce Lee of the Philippines, as a cripple who gets possessed by the spirit of a Nazi soldier and ends up with a Hitler moustache and Nazi uniform while speaking in German-sounding gibberish, including the catch phrase sprakenheit, which means the Language (spraken) of Sneezing (heit from gesundheit).

Tikbalangay is the lord of the dead. Master of all stringed instruments in the universe. Made a deal with Paganini, Foscarini, and Fettucini. Ferries condemned souls to the hemorrhoids of Tartanus. Still waiting for Uncle Jesus to remit his cock fight winnings. Tikbalang is the reverse centaur of Filipino folklore. The balangay is a type of Filipino war boat that has lent its name to the barangay, the smallest political unit in the Philippines that replaced the village and barrio during the 1970s.

Corporal Punishment is the collective embodiment of all the sins committed by violent soldiers throughout history. He carries a paddle similar to those used in fraternity hazing rituals. But deep in his heart, he just wants to row his boat. His spirits can be transferred once his corporal body dies. Started as a prehistoric sin eater twig. Each note he plays on his electric guitar as penance earns release for one of his many sinful souls. Is afraid of the dark.

Alf Jarry is the saxophone-skronking son of Sisa Jarry and Faustrollol. Half-human, half-alien. Loves to dance his own choreography and likes guns, video games, and painting. Murdered by Faustrollol, Caesar Hazard, and Pope Mustard. Eaten by Ubulbulul, Mamamakbet, and Roy-Roy as sacrifice during the Massacre of Innocents. Takes his name from Alfred Jarry and Alf, the TV sitcom alien. Once defeathered Mother Goose.

Frida Jarry is the drumming daughter of Sisa Jarry and Faustrollol. Sisa Jarry’s unibrowed mini me. Murdered by Faustrollol, Caesar Hazard, and Pope Mustard. Eaten by Ubulbulul, Mamamakbet, and Roy-Roy as sacrifice during the Massacre of Innocents. Takes her name from Frida Khalo and a shortened mispronunciation of Alfrid Jarry. Chronicler of familial history using the Florante at Laura recording system that was popularized by Francisco Balagtas, a 19^th Cenury Filipino epic poet.

Roy-Roy is the human manifestation of Ubulbulul’s brains, conscience, and virility. Rules over a parallel kingdom of midgets. Fancies himself a legendary warrior and spectacular gladiator. Critical in maintaining the balance of power in 38^th Century Mondo Europa. The target of Mamamakbet’s plot for world domination. Has always looked down on Ubulbulul, who he used to bully by pinching his nipples when they were kids. Takes his name from Jarry’s Ubu Roi. Is a lover of modern Filipino love poetry, especially those from the pen of Cerilo Rico Abelardo.

Cock-Cock is Roy-Roy’s sycophantic vizier. Spawned when Adolf Hitler used the other side of his toilet paper to wipe his cum. Obsessed with eugenics and phrenology. Raps, beatboxes, and drums at twenty thousand beats per second. Considers Bossanaga as his main rival in Roy-Roy’s court. Is named after Jarry’s Ubu Cuckold.

Bossanaga is Roy-Roy’s baboon bodyguard. A simian of few words with the most colorful anus. Listens to Jobim during his extreme workouts. Takes his name from Bosse-de-Nage, the monkey who accompanies Dr. Faustroll in Jarry’s Exploits and Opinions of Dr. Faustroll, Pataphysician. Rumored to be Faustrollol’s dissertation advisor and a Guy Debord specialist.

Mescalina is mescaline overdose. She’s the temptress and seductress in latex. The snake reincarnated as beautiful Eve. Also carries a snake dildo as a symbol of her dominance. A cartwheel master, post-feminist who can trace her lineage back hundreds of generations to Sappho. Takes her name from Jarry’s Messalina: A Novel of Ancient Rome and the drug mescaline.

The members of the SMAK! orchestra called Aktion T4, which is named after a brand of laundry detergent that supposedly erases undesirable stains. This brand was said to have been developed by Brandt and Bouhler and is marketed under license worldwide by several multinational corporations (MNCs), depending on the regional territory:

Mother Inferior on clarinet, trumpet, space guitar, sound effects. Pope Mustard’s predecessor. Stepped down to live a life of musical contemplation after having amassed a fortune during the 19^th Century Philippines, when religious orders held such power and influence that the archipelago was deemed a frailocracy.

God on bass and ukulele. Is moonlighting as a musician in 38^th Century Mondo Europa to ensure that Her will gets done. Easily distracted and rarely notices when Her name is publicly used to justify ambition and greed. Has been confused with José Rizal in some parts of the Philippines, where there are several Rizalista sects that believe in Rizal’s divinity, whether as God, the son of God, or even as the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary.

Cone Kiss Tadora, on Spanish guitar, trombone, drums, percussion. La Conquistadora de la Fortuna. Rejected the Captaincy General of the Spanish East Indies to conquer continents unknown in the name of God and country. Eventually returned to aid the American and Japanese campaigns before getting bored right before the Americans won World War II and the Philippines gained its independence from the United States in 1946.

JS Bacharach, on violin, flute. Channels the spirits of musical geniuses, from Bach to Bacharach. Distracts the miserable and destitute. Has widely pirated recordings misused during elections and political rallies.

Shangriladzilla, on drums. Mythical Himalayan Kaiju who appears when the world is in chaos. Acts as an agent of rebirth. Said to have destroyed several islands in the Philippines in 1972, when Ferdinand Marcos declared Martial Law and ran a government described as a kleptocracy. Has made several visits to the archipelago since then, even after the fall of the Marcos regime during the 1986 EDSA People Power Revolution. Has had great worldwide demand in recent years.

 

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